Transcription (en)

Oh, excuse me ma'am. You dropped your... Men's athletic crossover style boot. Size 9.5. Suggest a man that is neither fashionable nor athletic. Hoagie. Little does Hoagie know, I've been teaching at women's self-defense boot camp for six years. First defense 101. Class is in session. Holy shit. Excuse me, excuse me. Coming through. Excuse me. Oh boy. Cavalry's coming in. Hey Jerry, this old lady bothering you? I'm good Marvin, thanks man. Everything's alright. He's a friend of mine. Hey, it's good to see you. You're looking good, brother. I'm alright. Yeah, stay in shape. What the fuck? Alright, well maybe I'll call the police. Right? This is assault. You willing to go to jail for this? Oh, you're goddamn right I am. Okay, then maybe I will cause a big scene and get arrested. Also, then once we both get to jail, I'll just... What, a private guard? Be puttin' my cell? Yeah, I figured you'd say that. It's pretty obvious. Oh, you have to realize that's gonna take hours. during which time I'll have fastened a shiv from my toothbrush and used it to murder my cellmate. You just shiv your cellmate? Don't worry, he's a bad person who's done terrible things. The justice is served. Okay. He gets me thrown in solitary confinement, which is what I want. Out of reach, completely untaggable. Damn, you have thought this through. Pretty good, right? Look, understand two things, Hoagie. First, you're not gonna screw up this wedding, okay? And secondly, I will never let you tag me. You're gonna die before that ever happens. You understand that, right? I don't fear death, Jerry, and I'm not gonna give this up. give this up until I die. Okay. Good luck.